Sour then Sweet
Lots of references to food in my posts and now not sure if that's my Earth (or is it Wood Element - I have so much to remember); definitely part of being Taurean or maybe a lack of self care over the last few months.
Spring has come to my house, and although the heating still being on reflects how autumnal the weather has been, the process of clearing out lifts the mood and feels cathartic.
That is until you find a journal, a record of past times and the best friend you could ever have in a window into the past, a true reflection not the one your memory has a habit of trying to convince you of. 'Beginner's Mind' as we say in Mindfulness Practice, Shoshin is a practice of paying attention to what is there without judgement or anticipation, seeing as it is not as you think it ought to be.
Out of the 10-12 notebooks why did I choose the one I did? Reading it was like digesting a message from a previous self, devouring the insights and seeing a new perspective. Reflecting on the bitter sourness of grief, seeing the sweetness that comes from taking time to renew your life force, of having an approach of Shoshin, seeing with fresh eyes, paying attention to only what is there.
Clearing out emotionally to recognise all the pitfalls, blind spots, deceptions so as to choose a wiser path full of joyful peaks, clarify of purpose and those around you who cheer your lead and celebrate the triumphs. Those who have been there through the times when the world looked bleak, no sun to warm your earth, no nourishment for the soul only suffering through unqualified and unresolved fear.
And as the snowdrops give space for the daffodils, their life force waning, enlivening the soil for all the spring blossoms to come, I reflect with pride on the year I met Prince Charles recognising our work in a Bristol community for Best Practice in Integrated Health. Even though it was followed by many deaths in the following years, emotional and physical, much was lost in those years, the sour bitter taste still deeply stings my soul at times, yet now the sweetness of renewed purpose and the building of a global community enlivens my hopes.
Learning all about Biodynamics, how deeply connected we are to the patterns and rhythms of a universal life force, and how in turning towards nature we see ourselves reflected. Winter turns to Spring and Spring to Summer, and this year the progression of all the days in between I will plant seeds, tend to shoots and dream of an abundant harvest come Autumn.