Trauma x 7
I had faith that Avocados plants would grown from each of the 3 seeds, just in different ways at different rates and none of them to bear fruit, merely for the love of helping something to grow. This was then and now I have a different outlook, no more washing up looking out into the garden, watching Tess play or the birds feeding.
Life has moved on and I have with it, each twist, each turn of the seasons bringing new insights, new aspects to test my faith, to help me question my beliefs.
And there are those moments that take you back, to show a reflection of the past, memories remembered, that can take your breath away. How you come away from these thoughts set the tone of our days. But what if those 'moments' are asking us to 'feel' deep inside traumas that have been handed down to us, ancestral reactions to things long since forgotten.
Through words that become actions that, deeply embed into our muscles from our continued responses as reactions passed down through the generations.
There has been deep trauma through my lineage, stories only now coming out, bringing a sense of an echo to situations i have found myself experiencing. Aunt Kate who had to wait for her would be mother in law to pass as she didn't approve of her marrying her sweetheart so she never had children, and how she was the name sake of my grandmother, who I am named after. And how i won't have the opportunity to call any daughter Kate or Catherine, Kitty or Cath.
and that is why, when i attended a workshop with Trish Spence, Clearing the 7 Generations, the onward lineage part cut deep. Yet it has signalled in me a response that I want to continue to relish. That we all can be family to each other, not just bloodlines, an opportunity to blur the lines of lineage and promise to be true to ourselves.